Oh first time mama to be. You have read this blog before.
Maybe. You hear how much becoming a mama changes you and how you are just overcome with such incredible joy. The days are a blur but you are in such bliss with your new one and all the love you don’t bat an eye that anything is difficult because that’s what strong, good mamas do.
Not so fast. I’m going to be transparent here. It’s ok to be exhausted. It’s ok to ask yourself “what have I done?” It’s ok to mourn the loss/change of your former life. It’s ok to feel overwhelmed at how feeding your baby and trying to bank sleep now takes all your time and you forget to eat. Make sure someone is caring for you and feeding you however. It’s ok to loathe pumping and cleaning parts. It’s normal to google and look up every single blog on every topic or thing your baby does or doesn’t do. Been there, read that.
I know all mothers face challenges. And I feel like before the presence of social media, those challenges were hidden. I never knew just how many have suffered loss, prematurity, bed rest, illness, etc before. Even still, so many just show the highlight reel. And the highlights are amazing! But they don’t show the sleepless nights, the laundry and dishes, the pain, sore nipples, doctor appointments, crying, the raw, unfiltered hormonal emotions.
I always try to reach out to my friends before their little ones arrive and just say “hey, I’m here. I’m here to vent to, cry to, ask questions about anything at all (sleep training, oils, mood issues, baby led weaning, how to empty the diaper genie the first time, etc). As just a mom of 2, I have dealt with far more than I ever thought I would around the birth of my children. While my pregnancies were totally uneventful, post partum was a ride. From c-sections, to infant mastitis, to bilateral pneumothorax and nicu stays, my own mastitis, food/feeding intolerances, and then full blown post partum anxiety- I know the things that can happen. The unexpected. Welcome to motherhood.
I say all that to say this- you are going to be ok. Your new normal will come, you’ll never look back and won’t even remember what you did before that baby came into your arms. But it’s going to take time. Everyone has different struggles. Every baby and mama is different and what worked for one may not work for another. But, never be afraid to ask for help. For any subject, ever. And a mother’s intuition will tell you what is best. All of us share a common bond- we are mothers. We all want the best for our children and I personally want to empower other mamas to help them be confident in themselves and their capabilities as a mom. I also pray they recognize when things just aren’t right inside and ask for help. God gave that baby to you, mama. He doesn’t make mistakes. Yes, you have a new life to care for, but please don’t forget to care for yourself. I cannot stress this enough. It will be harder than you realize and not selfish in any way, so strip that guilt.
Your pregnancy glow will soon be replaced with some dark circles, flabby stomach and extremely wicked sore breasts and nipples (worse than contractions imo), but your heart will be glowing more for your child. Never forget how you waited so long to become a mother and don’t forget other mamas have your back.
And P.S., it’s ok if you can’t crop out all the burp rags, bottles, pump parts, drinks, snacks, laundry piles, etc out of your pictures. That’s part of it.
Love your guts,
April
The Gut Gospel 